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Which is pretty sad, too, because chicks are more than just their ass sometimes.

I've seen the Gautier chick-torso perfume bottle before, and now there is the Kardashian chick-torso perfume bottle, and I notice that they always take the picture of the bottles from a front angle. Like, they don't want you to get a good look at the bottle's ass, I guess. Which doesn't make much sense to me because the ass is a pretty good part of a lot of chicks.

And Kim Kardashian is pretty much known for her ass. I mean, what does she show in her pictures on Instagram and shit? Her ass. What position was she in for most of her sex tape? Face Down Ass Up. So you would think the bottle would be, like, a celebration of her ass, but maybe that's why I don't work in advertising, I think almost all packaging would work better if it reminded you of a hot chick's ass.

And maybe the chicks who buy perfume don't want Kim's ass, like, in their face and shit. Because maybe it makes them all self-conscious of their own ass, which may be flat or pimply or saggy and shit, and now they won't buy the perfume because they don't like being reminded of their own sad ass. Which is pretty sad, too, because chicks are more than just their ass sometimes.

I mean, I don't expect her perfume bottle to be herself spreading her ass cheeks and showing her asshole, but, like, maybe she could've gone half-way. Except if she was spreading her ass cheeks and showing her asshole she would need hands, and then it's not just a torso anymore, and that probably fucks up the artistic statement of a chick having no legs or arms or a head or shit.

But I bet if you were to sell, like, an action figure of Kim Kardashian you better be able to make it spread its ass cheeks and show its asshole, because otherwise what's the point? I mean, in that case it's just another chick-doll that pretends that chick-dolls aren't about sex. Before you get all offended and shit, I'm talking about adult chick-dolls here: baby-girl dolls are for little girls to pretend to be a mommy and shit, which doesn't have anything to do with sex.

Comments

  1. KrumhornApril 28, 2018 at 1:03 PM

    Now that you mention it, maybe a good couples marketing thing would be sort of a Kanye torso bottle that would be packaged with its nozzle appendage joined intimately with the perfume bottle in the spread ass cheeks while squirting some man musk and shit when the cap is depressed.

    And for extra fun, maybe when the two packaged bottles are separated at home, the perfume bottle can howl sharply in pain like what happens during cat sex in the alley behind the garage at 2 am. Batteries not included.

    - Krumhorn

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