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Which I thought was a little fucked up at the time, but now that I'm older I get it. Maybe it's still a little fucked up, but I get it.

When I was a freshman in high school there was a cute little blonde cheerleader I had a crush on, because I was in high school and she was cute and blonde and a cheerleader. She was always smiling, even in math class, which was kinda weird, but she was good at math.

Which doesn't seem fair, that she was cute and blonde and a cheerleader and good at math, that's the kind of high school girl who is gonna date a college dude. Probably a college dude who would wear a black Members Only jacket and smell of Polo.

Anyway, she would do that thing where she would play with the eraser end of her pencil against her lower lip, and it was like she didn't even know she was doing it, it was like she didn't know that any dude seeing that didn't see the pencil as a pencil anymore.

And she always had to re-tie her shoes a lot. I don't know if she just wasn't good at tying her shoes, or maybe she needed the laces just right, some chicks are like that about things, but she would always stop and re-tie her little white LA Gear sneakers.

Which may not seem like a big thing, but it was the way she did it: when she bent over to re-tie her shoelaces she bent down at the waist. Like, her legs were straight, and she was bent over, and how could a high school boy not stare at that ass?

I mean, on 4chan you can see pictures of chicks spreading their ass cheeks and showing their assholes, but somehow this was even better, with her ass sticking up in those stone-washed Guess jeans, or -- dear Lord -- her little red cheerleader skirt.

I remember walking behind her down the hall when she stopped and bent over to re-tie her shoelaces: it was like I was hypnotized, her ass could've got me to do anything. Then I noticed our math teacher at his open door, and he was staring, too. Which I thought was a little fucked up at the time, but now that I'm older I get it. Maybe it's still a little fucked up, but I get it.

Because sometimes nothing is better than that moment, even when you are older and can go to a strip club and see a naked chick in high heels spreading her ass cheeks and showing her asshole. I just hope to God that when she was in high school she didn't show her asshole to some college dude wearing a black Members Only jacket and smelling of Polo, I think that could actually break my heart.

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