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I once had a chick bite my face.

I once had a chick bite my face.

I met her over the internet. No, not 4chan, but on Reddit. But Reddit is basically 4chan for people who are scared of 4chan.  Or think they are too good for 4chan. Sometimes both, really.

Anyway, she had posted a nude photo of herself. She wasn't spreading her ass cheeks and showing her asshole, but they do that sometimes on Reddit, too. The girls who post pictures of themselves spreading their ass cheeks and showing their assholes on Reddit probably do it there because they think it is classier than 4chan, but it's still a picture of you spreading your ass cheeks and showing your asshole, so I don't think the difference matters much, but then I'm not a chick.

So I post a comment to her picture telling her I really like the picture, and she responds. Her comments sound kind of drunk, but maybe that's just the way she is. I mean, I don't know her, I've only seen her naked. Anyway, we end up chatting back and forth, and find out we are both in the same city, and we end up agreeing to meet.

We meet at a bar, and at first I didn't recognize her, because her face wasn't really clear in her photo: it was mainly her vagina up close, and her face kinda blurry in the back. But we figure each other out, and get some drinks.

I ask her if she does this a lot, you know, meeting up with guys who saw her nude picture on the internet. And she says she does it all the time. Which kinda made me a bit weirded out. But then she said she didn't have herpes, so I felt a little better.

We go outside for a cigarette, and we're smoking and shit and then, all of a sudden, she moves at me real fast and bites my face. And I'm like, Shit! What the fuck? Because she just bit my face.

So I ask why she did that, and she says she doesn't know why she did that, and she just smokes her cigarette. So now I'm bleeding, and people around us are going like Shit! What the fuck? And I don't know how I should be reacting to this, because I figured that maybe we would have sex, but now I don't know if I really want to have sex with her, because she just bit my face.

Then her phone rings, and she starts talking with someone, and some dude gives me a cocktail napkin from inside the bar to wipe the blood on my face. And the bouncer is looking at us all mean and shit, so I don't think he's gonna let us back inside, even thought the bar is a dive bar, but I guess they still have some standards.

But it really doesn't matter, because she finishes her call, puts her phone in her purse and says she's got to go. I'm still kinda like Shit! What the fuck? but she just starts off walking down the street, and I'm not going to go after her, I think there may be something wrong with her.

So that's the story about a chick biting my face. Maybe a commenter here at Althouse has had this shit happen to them, but I guess not, Althouse people probably don't hook up with naked chicks from the internet.

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