Skip to main content

I don't even want to know how doctors fix that shit.

I was checking out 4chan like I normally do, seeing what crazy shit people are up to, and people are popping insults like it's 80s 'Street Fighter' and they're all trying to land the Shoryuken move. You know, the one where you move the stick forward, down, and then down-forward -- it's that one.

So after awhile I come back to Althouse, because it's night-time, and that's when things can go batshit here, too. I don't know, I just find it funny when smart people get angry, because they usually don't do angry right. They use a lot of big words and all, but you know someone like Charles Bronson wouldn't bother to use a lot of big words, he'd just go straight to skull-fucking you, he didn't need a thesaurus and shit.

And at 4chan you can use pictures to get your point across. Like, some guy is getting on your nerves, so you just post a picture of some skanky porn chick's prolapsed rectum, and you don't really have to spend a lot of time typing and shit, everyone gets the idea.

People on 4chan have been posting a lot of porn stars with prolapsed rectums lately; I don't know, I guess it's a thing now. But it must suck to be a porn star who has done so much gang-bang double-anal that you now have a prolapsed rectum, I don't even want to know how doctors fix that shit.

But anyway, here at night on Althouse a lot of people seem angry, but they try to be insulting without being politically incorrect, and that's funny, too. Because you know some of these guys are aching to just say 'You're a fag, dude' but you can't say that shit around smart people, so they have to tap-dance their anger and be all self-conscious, which is pretty sad, really.

Like, chicks do this too, but that only makes it sadder when a dude does it, because now he's all being like a punk-ass whiny chick. So it's funny and it's sad, like when you're on 4chan and you see pictures of some fat chick spreading her ass cheeks and showing her asshole. And I don't mean any offense to fat chicks, it's just you shouldn't be doing that shit, okay?

But about being angry: being angry has collateral damage, people -- if you can't accept that, then just don't go there. Because your anger is fucking you up, and face it, you ain't Ice Cube.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I mean, straight men in their seventies don’t dress like a pirate unless they are actually a pirate, okay?

I always thought the song was, like, Mick’s way of letting Keith know gently that, no, Mick was not going to fuck him and shit. Because if you can’t tell that Keith Richards is gay then you just don’t know how to look. I mean, straight men in their seventies don’t dress like a pirate unless they are actually a pirate, okay? So when Mick sings “I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she was gonna meet her connection” The ‘her’ is Keith, and Keith and Mick are at, like, some party or shit, and Keith’s looking for his drug dealer, because he’s not going to get to fuck Mick and now he needs some more drugs. Pretty obvious. Then Mick sings “But I went down to the demonstration To get your fair share of abuse Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration If we don't we're gonna blow a fifty-amp fuse" And the ‘demonstration’ is a metaphor for the recording studio, where Keith is abusive of Mick because Mick isn’t rock-and-roll e...
1 comment
Read more

I mean, most of the time the cattle prods are like a metaphor and shit, but sometimes you need a real cattle prod to make your shit obvious.

"our favorite characters are unrelentingly tortured — electrocuted with cattle prods, kicked, threatened with dogs, chained to a gas stove and burned, left alive on a gallows covered with urine." This does kinda sound like harsh shit, but it's, like, a corollary of Internet Rule 34: if it's on video and involves a chick, some dude somewhere will masturbate to it. It's just how media works, if it can't get chicks outraged and dudes masturbating then it isn't doing the job. But "The Handmaid’s Tale" is, like, for chicks to masturbate their feminist clit. Because a lot of chicks feel the most represented in art when they are a victim, like, getting electrocuted with cattle prods. I mean, most of the time the cattle prods are like a metaphor and shit, but sometimes you need a real cattle prod to make your shit obvious. It's kinda like how chicks get Oscars for portraying hookers: because all chicks are hookers and being electrocuted by catt...
1 comment
Read more

It's still pretty cool, even if you're not in a 1973 Ford Pinto with the fucked up interior and the glovebox door that won't stay closed.

So I clicked back to Althouse after checking out shit on 4chan, and I see she is back from a road trip. And, like, I think the road trip is one of the best things about America. I mean, I think the GPS shit takes some of the fun out of it now, you don't, like, have a big blue paper map all folded ass-backwards and you got the dome light on to try to see where the hell you are because it's dark and shit, but it's still pretty cool, even if you're not in a 1973 Ford Pinto with the fucked up interior and the glovebox door that won't stay closed. Anyway, Kerouac wrote some cool shit about road trips, but reading about her going to Texas makes me think of the road trip in 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.' Like, the film is about these kids on a road trip to a concert or something, it was the Seventies so it was probably some shit like Foghat. But the van breaks down in the middle of Buttfuck, Texas, and they go off to try to find help, because they didn't ...
3 comments
Read more