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But I'd listen to a song called 'Black Zeppelin', I bet it would kick ass.

I had a girlfriend once who left a book of poems at my place after we broke up. By saying we broke up it wasn't so much 'we', because she pretty much just dumped my ass. I mean, there's not much you can do when a girl dumps your ass, you're dumped, and all you can really do is go out and get drunk a lot, and maybe sniff her panties if she left any at your place. But my ex-girlfriend didn't leave any panties at my place, she just left a book of poems.

The poems were by this e.e. cummings guy, and I even kinda liked some of them. There was one called 'Buffalo Bill's' which was pretty good, except he doesn't use a lot of capital letters and he runs words together and shit.

And I'm not sure why he didn't use a lot of capital letters, but I guess it makes the poems more poetic and shit. Especially when they don't rhyme in the first place.

But it's funny: if you use only little letters it's artistic, but if you were to use all capital letters you just sound like some weird guy carrying a nasty sleeping bag and shouting shit on the street. Like this:

BUFFALO BILL ’S
DEFUNCT
WHO USED TO
RIDE A WATERSMOOTH-SILVER STALLION
AND BREAK ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVE
PIGEONSJUSTLIKETHAT
JESUS HE WAS A HANDSOME MAN
AND WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR BLUEEYED BOY
MISTER DEATH

It's like -- hey, dude -- you don't need to shout that shit, okay? I mean, maybe if you were doing heavy metal you could shout shit like that, but his poems aren't the type of shit that you shout to heavy metal, really.

I think he wrote one poem that had a balloon in it, but maybe I'm just thinking of some poem that some sad fat Goth-chick cutter put on 4chan. But I bet if e.e. cummings did do that poem about a balloon, the balloon wouldn't have been black, like a sad fat Goth-chick cutter would do.

I mean, maybe you could do a heavy metal song about a black balloon, but if you did that it would probably end up being about a zeppelin dropping bombs and shit. But I'd listen to a song called 'Black Zeppelin', I bet it would kick ass.

Because if you're in a heavy metal band and you can't kick ass with a song called 'Black Zeppelin' you probably should just break up the band already and go back to working at McDonald's, cleaning up the loose shit in the bathroom.

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  2. I think that 4chan guy is your best shit yet. Just saying.

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