Because when you're a celebrity you can do all the 4chan shit, but you can do it for real, with real people.

This whole shooting thing sucks. Like, this Travis guy, without all the shooting shit, he sounds like he'd be cool to party with.

I mean, who doesn't like Dairy Queen? And it would be a fucking blast, chasing Taylor Swift all around town and shit. I picture Taylor running around in, like, a little red dress, and Travis running after her and not wearing pants, that would fucking rock.

Because why does everyone probably automatically think that Taylor Swift wasn't, like, really stalking the dude? I mean, is it that hard to picture a celebrity picking a dude at random and just fucking with him, just because she can and shit? Because when you're a celebrity you can do all the 4chan shit, but you can do it for real, with real people.

Still, just because Taylor Swift is stalking you doesn't, like, give you the right to shoot people. I thought dudes would've learned that after the Jodie Foster shit, but that was a long time ago, I guess, back before Jodie Foster was even a lesbian and shit.

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"And I've got to admit that it's just about exactly how I pictured the myself as an old lady when I was 19 years old."

So I was reading an Althouse post on some ad she got emailed, and the ad was of an old lady being groovy in the way old ladies in ads sometimes do. Anyway, Althouse wrote this: " And I've got to admit that it's just about exactly how I pictured the myself as an old lady when I was 19 years old." And, like, this gave me an idea and shit, but my buddy Laslo beat me to it. So anyway, here's a pic of young Althouse imagining herself as a groovy old lady...

Anyway, I think Tom Brokaw's that kind of guy -- like, not a child molester, but that he treats chicks like a child molester treats children before he fucks them after they look at the secret magazines with their pants off.

I think I read somewhere that one of the reasons people are jumping Tom Brokaw's shit is that he tickled a chick he worked with back in the day. And I find that kinda funny, because he seems like he's one of those pussy dudes who thinks he's, like, a feminist, but then he goes and tickles a chick like a child molester does with a nephew before taking him into the back bedroom to look at secret magazines with their pants off, while everyone else is out in the yard having a barbecue for grandma because she's still alive on her birthday and shit. Anyway, I think Tom Brokaw's that kind of guy -- like, not a child molester, but that he treats chicks like a child molester treats children before he fucks them after they look at the secret magazines with their pants off. And I think I think this because people who tickle other people who didn't ask to be tickled are fucking shady. Because tickling is, like, trying to get a response that's kinda sexual while bein...

"You no hero, GI, you my Jane Fonda! You my Jane Fonda bitch!"

"Has anyone ever asked McCain if, like, when he was a prisoner of war, did any Viet Cong dude ever fuck him in the ass?" I bet, if it happened, it went something like this: "How you like war now, GI? How you like your war now, Big American Soldier Man?" "Stop fucking me in the ass, Viet Cong Prison Guard dude!" "I fuck you in the ass, GI! You bomb my people, and now I fuck you in the ass with the fury of a thousand napalm!" "I'm a soldier! You fucking me in the ass is, like, against the Geneva Convention and shit." "There is no protection for the Imperialist Mangy Dogs! I fuck you in the ass like mangy dog, Imperialist GI!" "Please stop fucking me in the ass, Viet Cong Prison Guard dude!" "You will not defeat the glorious revolution of the peoples! The revolution will not stop until all the Imperialist Mangy Dogs are fucked in the ass!" "It hurts! Even though your cock is small co...

I'm On The Spectrum, Bitch.

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