Because when you're a celebrity you can do all the 4chan shit, but you can do it for real, with real people.

This whole shooting thing sucks. Like, this Travis guy, without all the shooting shit, he sounds like he'd be cool to party with.

I mean, who doesn't like Dairy Queen? And it would be a fucking blast, chasing Taylor Swift all around town and shit. I picture Taylor running around in, like, a little red dress, and Travis running after her and not wearing pants, that would fucking rock.

Because why does everyone probably automatically think that Taylor Swift wasn't, like, really stalking the dude? I mean, is it that hard to picture a celebrity picking a dude at random and just fucking with him, just because she can and shit? Because when you're a celebrity you can do all the 4chan shit, but you can do it for real, with real people.

Still, just because Taylor Swift is stalking you doesn't, like, give you the right to shoot people. I thought dudes would've learned that after the Jodie Foster shit, but that was a long time ago, I guess, back before Jodie Foster was even a lesbian and shit.

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"And I've got to admit that it's just about exactly how I pictured the myself as an old lady when I was 19 years old."

So I was reading an Althouse post on some ad she got emailed, and the ad was of an old lady being groovy in the way old ladies in ads sometimes do. Anyway, Althouse wrote this: " And I've got to admit that it's just about exactly how I pictured the myself as an old lady when I was 19 years old." And, like, this gave me an idea and shit, but my buddy Laslo beat me to it. So anyway, here's a pic of young Althouse imagining herself as a groovy old lady...

Anyway, she smelled like Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion, which chicks used back before they were all worried about skin cancer and shit.

Yesterday Althouse had the headline "“His robe opened... He smelled like cigar and espresso and his body odor.” And that sounded kinda cool, a dude in his robe, smoking cigars and drinking espressos, it seems kinda laid back in a Fifties Dude way. I mean, the dude has body odor, which isn't usually good, but that's probably because he's still in his robe, he hasn't splashed on the Old Spice yet. I remember my grandfather had a cologne on his dresser back in the day, it was Jovan Musk. I didn't know what musk was back then, but then I don't think I know exactly what musk is now, really, I just know it smelled like my grandfather. Back then my grandfather also wore a cool red Members Only jacket, it fucking rocked. I mean, he was my grandfather, so he was old, but when we'd all go out to Black Angus for dinner he looked like a player. Like, he'd flirt with the waitresses and shit, but that was OK because my grandmother was dead at the time. It&#

And -- come on -- no one is going to masturbate to that.

If you spend a lot of time on 4chan you can get paranoid. Because you gotta know the Government is watching. I mean, sure, maybe there are some people there who the Government should be watching, maybe. But they don't just watch them, they watch everyone. And that sucks. And when you realize this, some of the people who post there look pretty suspicious. Because you click on a link, but they put that link there to get you to click on it. And now you're on a list. Click on the picture of Robert Mueller and Stalin done as tentacle porn? You're on a list. Click on that post with the Government dressed as Nazis trying to take guns away from redneck naked chicks, and you're on a list. And people will say that the Government has to do that, to catch terrorists and pedophiles. But sometimes the picture of David Hogg fucking an anime baby isn't sexual, the cartoon infant represents the Second Amendment. But some people just see a teenage boy fucking a baby and think the

I'm On The Spectrum, Bitch.

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