Because if you didn't cry like a little bitch then you were now pretty much a man-dude, and that was cool, too.

"Imagine being the last boy in the group. All the others have crossed. You are afraid and you know it's a bad idea, but it seems you have to do it now. You've just got to go. Your only life is on the other side of that road and you've got to get to it or you have no life."

This, like ties into yesterday's post on chicks and sex cults and shit.

What Althouse is describing is the Cult of Boys. When you're a boy-dude you gotta keep up with the other boy-dudes, or you're a pussy. I don't mean any disrespect to women by saying 'pussy', I just mean it in the way a boy-dude says it before he, like, gets older and gets the urge to put his dick in pussies. Because at that point he now means 'pussies' as chicks' lunch-boxes, he doesn't mean 'pussy' as meaning 'gay' like when he was younger. No offense to gay dudes, either, I should've used another word, like one that means 'fag' if you were still able to say 'fag', which you're not.

Anyway, being a boy is like being in a cult, you do stupid shit to make sure the other boy-dudes in the cult still like you and shit. Chicks do stupid stuff when they're in a cult, too, but their stupid shit usually involves, like, sucking cocks and getting banged in the ass, boy-dudes do shit that usually involves just getting hit in the balls and shit like that.

I mean, sometimes with boy-dudes it gets out-of-hand and goes all 'Lord of the Flies', but usually it just ends up with some boy-dude's arm getting broken and then everyone writes shit on his cast, which was cool.

When the boy-dude becomes a man-dude he still is part of the cult, it's just that pretty much all the straight guys are in it, so there's no fancy passage shit. Like, if there was a secret-passage phrase to this cult it would probably just be 'hold my beer'.

Adult chicks, though, they don't have as many friend chicks that they trust, because chicks talk shit about each other, like, a lot. And they never got empowered by, like, jumping off the roof and breaking your arm and having all your friends say it was pretty bad-ass, so if the chicks have daddy issues a sex cult looks pretty good to them.

I mean, boy-dudes can have daddy issues too, I guess, but for a boy-dude the daddy issue is if, after breaking your arm after jumping off the roof, did you, like, cry and shit like a pussy. Because if you didn't cry like a little bitch then you were now pretty much a man-dude, and that was cool, too.

But I guess the easiest difference to see between a dude cult and a chick cult is that, in the dude cult, the dude never says 'hold my beer' so that someone can fuck him in the ass or make him suck their cock.