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And I think a lot of celebrities know about the ass-spiders, too. Like, Kim Kardashian has ass-spider fear for sure.

I was on 4chan checking out the chicks spreading their ass cheeks and showing their assholes, when I came back to Althouse to catch up on her shit, because sometimes checking out chicks spreading their ass cheeks and showing their assholes makes me feel kind of depressed after a while, I'm not sure why. So I read about the homeless living in people's backyards, and I read about the Cosby rape shit, and I realize something: celebrities and the homeless are pretty much the same people.

Because when you're crazy and fucked up, and shit doesn't go your way, you're homeless, but when you're crazy and fucked up and have a talent people like, or have great tits, then you're, like, an artist on YouTube or a model on Instagram, and crazy and fucked up just show how much of a true artist you are. So, basically, society let's you be crazy if you're poor enough, or rich enough, but if you're rich enough then they want to watch.

Like, look at celebrities on Twitter: if you took away the emojis and hashtags and shit, what you're reading ain't much different than the homeless dude on the corner ranting aimlessly about injustice and how the voices in his head tell him he should kill you.

The homeless dude shits on the sidewalk and society lets him do it; the celebrity could shit on the sidewalk and people would say he's keeping it real and they would, like, hashtag it #shitsreal and it'd be trending and then all of a sudden even your mom knows who this celebrity is, because she read on AOL that he shit on the sidewalk. And no one is really surprised by either, because that's the kind of shit those people do, you pretty much expect it.

I mean, the homeless dude might be shitting on the street, and the celebrity chick might be bleaching her asshole instead, but I bet the homeless guy would bleach his asshole too, if he could afford it, because -- well -- he's got a homeless guy's asshole, and you know it could use a good bleaching, maybe, but mostly because he thinks it will get rid of the imaginary spiders he believes are living in his asshole, at least for a little while. And I think a lot of celebrities know about the ass-spiders, too. Like, Kim Kardashian has ass-spider fear for sure.

So, basically you have people with more than a bit of the crazy and no impulse control, and the police won't lock them up because they ain't got time for that shit. But if you or I shit on the sidewalk we'd be, like, in court having to explain to a judge why we shit on the sidewalk, and the judge would hold us to a higher standard, because we're not poor enough or rich enough to get away with that kind of crazy and no impulse control.

And that's how a celebrity can drug a chick in a hotel room to have sex with her, and the homeless guy can get a homeless chick methed-out in a tent by the freeway so that she'll suck his cock: same thing, really. But if you're an average guy in college with a drunk chick they'll really jump your shit.

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